For the past couple of weeks I've been praying this little number out of Proverbs 30.
Give me neither poverty nor riches
but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise I may have too much
and disown you and say, "Who is the Lord?"
I thought it sounded like a good thing to pray but mostly because poverty doesn't sound like much fun and daily bread sounded nice.
No more, no less.
no sooner, no later.
Just what we need, just when we need it.
Sounds good to me because daily bread has been in short supply around here. No matter how much we make in never seems enough. It's a cycle that has been playing out for about 15 years as my husband has tried everything he can to make a living as an honest auto technician. One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Since he is not willing to compromise his integrity and he's tired of having his body broken we've decided to stop the insanity by changing careers. My husband is going back to school this fall. It is a career move he has always wanted to make and we could not be more excited.
But this week was a hard one. Another hard one. It's been slow at the dealership and since technicians basically get paid on commission it was another little check. I had a medical bill that was due and school fees for our daughter that I wasn't excepting. I knew God would cover it. I wasn't sure how, but I knew that He would.
Then we discovered that while we qualified for financial aid, we had filed late and our promissory note for the grants would not arrive in time. Tuition was due this week and in order to secure hubby's enrollment we would need to pay for the fall semester and be reimbursed when the grant came in.
We had just enough money left in our savings to cover the school and that basically brought us back down to nothing. I transfered over the last of our savings and contemplated seeking employment outside the home.
Daily bread is awesome.
I know God will provide.
I know he loves us more than the sparrows but, maybe I should change my prayer.
Would it be wrong to ask for weekly bread? or maybe a small storehouse?
Wednesday was grocery day and I was going to have to be creative with the menu. Can cheese and crackers pass a a meal? What if it's cheese, crackers and ham slices? While I'm bumping through the produce isle contemplating if corn on the cob can be a meal, I ran into a friend. She gave me a hug and $100. What?! She said that she and her husband had been praying for us and wanted to bless us in a tangible way. It was humbling, but I knew who was really behind it because that was exactly the amount I had to cut from our grocery budget for the month. Thank you Jesus.
Friday my husband arrived at school, checkbook in hand, to lay down the last of our savings and pay the bill. There was a line, so he stopped by the kiosk to check his financial aid status one last time. Of course, he discovered that the grants came through and the whole year was paid in full, just in time. Thank you Jesus.
Daily bread is awesome. I'm not crazy about the sate of our finances these days but I am also terribly honored, because I get to see God show up on a daily basis. but maybe I should start looking for a new verse to pray over...
Give me neither poverty nor riches.
for both will blind me
But give me only my daily bread.
and I will see the greatness of your care for me.
Otherwise I may have too much
and forget where my help comes from.
and disown you and say, "Who is like the Lord?"
When you are all I need.
Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life.
He who comes to me will never go hungry,
and he who believes in me will never be thirsty